Breaking Bad Onesie
by Ann Arbor T-shirt Co.Buy Me
Sure, the pediatrician reckons that your infant is just an ordinary, run of the mill, high school chemistry teacher from New Mexico. But what does she know from chopped liver? You know better. That’s because you know that your infant is much more than just a chemistry teacher: you know that your infant is an unrecognized genius of a chemist. But your infant knows better than both you and the pediatrician put together. How so? Because when either of you poor hapless adults look into your infant’s nursery all you see are a cot, an array of fluffy cushions, a gentle soft rug, a bunch of plush toys. That’s not what your infant sees. To your chemistry teacher infant, the Nursery is, in fact, a highly illegal, highly dangerous, but highly profitable crystal methamphetamine laboratory; the sort of meth lab where only a genius infant chemist can produce blue colored crystal meth – the purest crystal meth that has ever been made. And, therefore, the most sought after, the most popular, and, therefore, the most profitable.
But, no matter how good your infant’s cover story may be (are the cops really going to bust the Nursery?!), this kind of business attracts attention – almost always unwanted attention. Quite apart from law enforcement in the shape of both local infant cops and the infant feds, your infant has to confront and deal with psychotic dealers, distributors, and rival suppliers.
All of which is why, when it comes to choosing which onesie to wear, you infant doesn’t want to be too obvious. And that’s the reason your infant chooses to wear the Breaking Bad Baby Onesies! Thanks to their subtly encoded designs, only those who are in the know, need to know! Plus, their 3 sturdy (and carefully concealed) crotch snaps make changing and fitting the Breaking Bad Onesies as easy as making a pink, one-eyed, and slightly charred teddy bear float in a swimming pool.